Building’s Edge

I have jumped off the building to fly

Yet I am falling

Wrench me free as I drown

Pummeled beneath the waves of these downdrafts

Stalling

The inevitability of a paved grave;

Dawning

Who is out here in this busy expanse of nothing

to save the unintentional dive-drown victim?

It is only once we no longer have the net beneath that we recognize

the weight, our manacled feet; the poison festering in our minds.

When you jumped did you consider the downside?

Surely if you did not sail you could not survive

And what if I released this weight — mislabeled pragmatism,

brittle expectations of achievement — freed myself from comparison?

Would the vessel remain, substantiated enough to float?

Or would the remains be paper thin, spiraling in a whirlpool towards an underground moat.

Fairer waves to the same grave

Fear waxing in its dark cave. Stuffed full with dreams saved — paused

Avoiding oblivion

How do we make it back on to the ledge?

Is that to be a boundary or the world’s end?

There should be life beyond the dead

Drop

Perhaps we find it once the weight is no longer fed.

“How is one saved?” This chorus pounding in my head.

A chant taken up by the brave –

Who can ever be saved

from one’s self?

“Save me” (x3)

Fetch yourself from the well.

“Save me” (x2)

— Self to Self.

Inspiration Prose et Poesie

The But

Quel est le point?

Censée devenir… quoi?

On est sur la route, le but duquel est

d’Être

sans doute, plus humain.

Mais on

Est

déjà ce qu’on essaie d’atteindre. 

Circle, moot. We’ve been set on a path

to discover what was core to the plant, the root.

But you are the tree and the fruit.

Quel est le but, alors?

Already both winner and warrior.

Inspiration Prose et Poesie

Comprehension

Walking the world with me while I walked it alone

In stride

Staying in the periphery when my tunnel vision kept me blind

Respecting all the boundaries but toeing, still,

The line 

Keeping silent in the vacuum, acts-in-service – practiced mime 

Stars are stars

always

steady,

twinkling, in the sky 

Sweet serendipity, sweet universe, allowing ours

collide.

Prose et Poesie

Atlas

Sometimes self hate looks like trivializing your own trauma; comparing your handle on pain to others’ handles, with your superficial understanding of their metaphysical navigation.

Sometimes self love looks like you beginning to understand that you are strong beyond measure because the things you go through are heavy for you. So heavy, in fact, that you are weighed down. And that weight you feel is in your mind but also outside of it because it textures the fabric of your life. Yet, this weight is sometimes lifted. You are able to move around under it. Yes, it forms the clouds above you and that is it’s own grey issue. But the weight is sometimes lifted, and you are the one lifting it.

So the next time you doubt your own suffering, the next time you feel like you should not be weighed down by the triviality you have decided is your life, understand that you are brave beyond measure, strong beyond will, and that part of the measure of a good life is our willingness to continue shouldering  our barely manageable burdens long enough to receive our light.

Inspiration Prose et Poesie

Changeling

It does not softly rain through the snow
It melts, it hardens
The layers beyond are brittle
Cracked with the slightest pressure
Flowered with fluff
Relying on roots that do not pierce
That which does not pierce cannot persevere

 

It does not softly rain through the snow
It cures, it mixes
the mulch and concrete, serving us
Dirt from the deep
Footsteps wound beneath
Donning unique rivulets to the crevices
Through which the mulch mix
Seeps

 

It does not softly rain through the snow
It alters,
Waters down many moons, in flow.

Inspiration Prose et Poesie

Exhale

Focus on your breathing or some shit 

And let the fact that the scab is now a scar convince you that you are healing

(though, not quick)

The pangs will not always echo as long or flow as deep

The earth quaking in your chest cavity when you weep

will eventually not exhaust you

And the dark you so strongly want to deplete will recede

through the fault lines of your lips

Memories seeping towards release

Whispers in the mist –

 

Breathe, breathe, breathe

Inspiration Prose et Poesie

Relinquishing

Try to visualize how big the universe is- can you see it?

Do you have the scope?

 

And that moment when you realize that the task you have just been set exceeds the bounds of your imagination- that submission to the impossibility of the Sisyphean?

Do you feel it? Have you manned the slope?

 

It is in that moment that you might understand it’s totality. And then, like me, all that will remain is the surrender of control to its unconditional being.

Have you learned it? Have you mined it’s hope?

 

I opened my arms as wide as they could go

Then imagined that I was throwing them even wider –

Wider than they could throw

I set about to gather the galaxy in their midst

But first I had to see the galaxy’s limits,

wrap my hands around it’s borders, and squeeze

them into the labyrinth of my ribs

 

I breathed out to remove the excess that would impede this feat;

Lungs and air excessive in the rift

that I had created to hold the universe within

And I should have understood at the end the same thing

I wish I had known at the beginning- 

That I could not see this galaxy’s limits.

 

So I stretched and stretched

and hoped to stumble upon its size within my mind

so I could then follow the map to its sides

When I realized I did not even know

the borders of my own mind

 

I could not touch the edges of my imagination. Yet beyond that lay the universe, HER own initiation, so I froze as it came to me that arms out wide, they lay short of reconciliation –

Are you living it?  Is this ship afloat?

 

Try again to visualize how big the universe is; try to understand that this cannot be achieved.

 

The impossible task was comprehending its very magnitude, understanding that I could not hope to reach it’s resolve; the moment when I finally let go. This is the only moment you need to understand why I closed my arms and accepted the vastness of the universe in loving you.

Inspiration Prose et Poesie

Juggernaut

“The next time he sees me, he should look the other way, pretend he never met me one day in his sorry life. “

He looked up.

“Nooo, you don’t know. You haven’t seen. He’s different now. Calmer. The last time he saw me, he bowed when he greeted me, bowed! He’s seen things since then. Different roads- life has humbled him, you’ll see.”

She snorted.

“People like him aren’t humbled. The soonest they get a chance at recovery, they jump into their old bullshit, treating people like dirt because they believe they are better, deserve better. That’s how you know his circumstances may have changed but they haven’t changed him.

Life has halted him, not humbled him.

For humility, life would need to have taught him some lessons, ones he actually learned. But he didn’t come to be a student of life. He came to conquer it.”

Prose et Poesie